A stable entry. Laced with Fact(ion)s.

Sooo

In a first of 'write about this' I'll be delving into stables/factions. I don't think I can remember even that many factions to make a top 10, so I'll list the ones I can remember and state why I like them (or most likely don't)

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not particularly a faction-enthusiast. Far too many times it's something of a vehicle to give has beens a couple of young uns a coattail to ride on. More frequently than not someone who was too lame to make it on his own.

The Four Horsemen aren't fitting of that description. In fact, they're probably the best known to this day. Rightfully so, even. After their inception in 1986, they were made up of some of the best active wrestlers up to that point. The originals, comprised of Ric Flair, Arn & Ole Anderson and Tully Blanchard, with JJ Dillon as their manager. Pro wrestling royalty at its finest. 

Every single one of them had immense talent in the sense that they were entertainers but had the baggage to be credible as wrestlers. I think it's no more than fair that to this day they are the archetype of the pro wrestling faction. Even if the crop of modern day fans thinks everything begins and ends with DX. 

The Horsemen have lost their merit over the years though. Despite Ric Flair being an integral part of it in each incarnation (so was Arn Anderson, for most of it), the faction suffered from shady booking in subsequent incarnations. One could live with Lex Luger being included, but Mongo and Jeff "Slap Nuts" Jarrett were very questionable choices. It truly is for the better that the faction is left retired, now that everyone original has retired and have been inducted into the Hall of Fame. With the exception of Ole Anderson, that is.

Imagine the Horsemen being revived ... I shudder to think.

Revival isn't necessarily the best. While the result could be assuring a snigger left and right for a little while, it ultimately ends up as a laughing stock. Evidence is DX. When they got back together in 2006 it was a little funny. On (the far too many) subsequent attempts to revive for "one night only" it became very apparent that it was time to call it quits. The original should be credited in part for a wrestling revival as the team of Triple H and Shawn Michaels coupled with Rick Rude practically defibrillated programming after being in a serious rut in the early 90's. The whole anti-establishment thing defined the late 90's with Stone Cold putting many cherries on top of it. Luckily, it didn't falter with the inclusion of X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws after the passing of Rude. While the legitimacy has taken a fall for this team in recent years, their existence helped redefine pro wrestling during its last true peak. It shouldn't be pushed aside, just because Triple H is a massive dickhead.

Speaking of a failed revival... Bischoff's brainchild nWo. It was the predecessor to WWF's DX. It just took seven steps further when it came to fighting the establishment. Despite the fact that it contained a dickhead  whose Hulk was replaced with Hollywood. None of these guys were known for their innate wrestling abilities but could work the crowd like no other. Scott Hall was maybe the best out of the original three, but having been piss drunk on most outings didn't help. Glad to see he's cleaned up though. (Thanks DDP!)

Of course, like many of Bischoff's ideas, it got rehashed until it was a shade of its former self. If your final incarnation (in WCW at least) features Scott Steiner, The Harris twins and Major Gunns (whatever happened to broad?) and lasted all of four months, you're pretty much dead in the water. In that sense, you can draw parallels to the Horsemen, whose late WCW run faced the same problems.

Is it pointless to get into the incarnation that surfaced in WWE? Probably, since it became apparent very quickly that it didn't work. Now rumors are afloat with Hollywood Hack Hogan likely returning to the E, Scott Hall being clean and Kevin Nash being available an nWo reunion is in the works. I'm not a religious man by any standard (I believe the term is antitheist, pun intended) but let's pray that this doesn't happen. I'd like to see a return of Scott Hall to the WWE, just to show the world that he made it through all the shit and have that be the end of it. Please.

So far, I've spent my precious time on factions that I liked somewhat. Time for one that I don't. It's probably not even a popular opinion either. The Hart Foundation... 

Yeah, I said it. These guys had all the wrestling skill in the world, but the charisma of clubbed seal and the entertainment value of a pole dancing amoeba. Just for the record, that means none whatsoever. Two guys who can't talk worth a damn, later coupled with Davey Boy and Brian Pillman (and Owen to an extent). Everyone loved them, I really didn't. I'm sure Canada will have a Fatwa on me, but fuck me, Bret Hart is hands down the most boring wrestler to step into a ring. Perhaps TJ Wilson is a strong contender for that title (but he's actually a nice and thoughtful guy, which I've experienced *beats chest vigorously*. So, I'll go easy on him.) TJ isn't a strong talker, but at least his ring work is entertaining. 

Another one. One that could've been a success. Evolution.

By all means, Evolution was considered a success, because they dominated. I'm just fussing over their choice of members. Orton and Batista specifically. Batista has been hands down the most undeserving of a career in pro wrestling. Granted, that's based mostly on dirt sheet information and the fact he's worth fuck all in the ring. Orton may have raw talent, but it takes an equal amount of raw talent to sit through one of that boring fuck's matches. At least Cena tries to hype up his boring routine. When Orton was the Legend Killer, he had a good thing going. That's even the kind of gimmick you can keep up for a decade or so. They should have, considering everything Randy Orton has done since dropping that moniker has been dull and boring. "More chinlocks with that middle rope DDT, sir? Or would sir prefer a punt to the fucking head instead?"

In that sense, Evolution failed in my eyes. But I'm probably nitpicking.

It seems to me that in recent years, factions aren't really working anymore. You still have 'em but they seem to operate differently. There's no more dominance like there was during the 80's and 90's. Look at today, you've got the Shield and the Wyatts. Shield are the kind of faction that just shakes things up and the Wyatt family tries but fails to dominate. As a big fan of Brodie Lee, I hope they have a long and successful career though.

There are of course factions that worked well within their boundaries (Nation of Domination, excluding Owen Hart) and then there are factions whose main set up is a parody of itself (Main Event Mafia).

TNA's futile attempt at establishing a faction was interesting in the sense that it made me both laugh and cry at the same time. Aces 'n Eights was slightly better organised, but it was still a group of WWE rejects, with a pinch of nepotism. It made Serotonin look good. 

the future looks all too bleak for stables, I'm afraid. But then again, in my mind ... it was rather bleak in the past just as well.

~D.

updatey thing for the hell of it.

Bollocks.


That serves both as an introduction to this entry as well as my general perception of the pro wrestling business. Not really, just the internationally televised side of it.

Do I know who currently holds a title in WWE? Nope. Dare I bet John Cena is one of them? Despite the fact that he was heavily injured and was expected to be out for an almost paradise-like 4 to 6 months. Let me check .... 

of course he's the champ. I'll refrain from beating the dead horse some more and let you draw your own conclusions. There is one humongous flipside though. With his early returns each and every FUCKING time,  he's profusely shortening his career. While I don't wish the rat bastard any harm, he should fuck off for real ... preferably with his lady in tow. Since a change in gimmick (or even just alignment) that actual lovers of pro wrestling have been begging for since 2007 (that's 6 fucking years going on 7!!) and should have gotten two years prior, isn't likely to happen now.

Speaking of ladies, I religiously watch Total Divas, because it's the only way you can see the current crop of divas (and TJ Wilson) show actual human emotions. The show is so delightfully cringeworthy I continuously wonder why I'm wasting my time on it. I can't present an honest answer, but I'm pretty sure it's not for my entertainment. There's only so much banter about Nikki Bella's giant tits I can cope with before it completely transcends into fucking uselessness. It wasn't much to begin with.


Speaking of giant tits(*)... Hulk Hogan left TNA (YAY!) and is booked to return to WWE (NAYYY!). Well, the rumours are there, but you can be damn sure that both parties are interested. Each and every time these rumours surface (and end up true) I ponder over the fact that there are still so many people excited for it. Really? I mean, really? No, seriously... Is there another dead horse that I can beat?

 It would mean though that I am now able to watch TNA again. And still I don't want to. I'll end up having to watch NXT more often. Lots of indie favorites working there. Sami Callihan debuted like 10 minutes ago, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards are doing try outs and impressing the shit out of the officials, El Generico has been doing well... It would even compensate for the lack of Chris Hero, who is simply back to being Chris Hero. 

That, or I could just stop watching it altogether for the time being. It makes very little difference. I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty much done wishing for the status quo to subside and I sure as hell can't be arsed to scour the net for the really good wrestling. 

Perhaps, until the next time. Have a nice solstice and a good start to the new year. Perhaps I'll be back around March to vent over the missed opportunities for Wrestlemania. Why break with tradition, heh?

~D.

(*) The whole line about Nikki Bella's giant tits was solely for the purpose of this segue. Thank you for your understanding.