This entry is probably the hardest entry I'll ever have to do. List my top 10 favorite movies. Fuck. I want to appear very cultured and add obscure flicks to the list that no one has heard of, but I'm not hipster like that.
I don't watch many movies to be honest. Genuinely, every time I open my DVD cabinet (ahum..) there's a tumbleweed right there. I kind of have to look for the movies between all the boxsets of tv series that I own.
I'm gonna try my best, but it's realistically possible that I won't even make it to ten.
I have seen several movies several times, not necessarily because they are any good, but rather because they are mindlessly entertaining. The Mummy and its direct sequel are prime examples of this. Not the Boris Karloff version from 1932, which I have seen a grand total of once, but the Brendan Fraser vehicle which I have seen an estimated 12 times since its release in 1999. I still like it.
So here goes, in no particular order.
The Green Mile.
John Coffey. Man, what a character. Aloof, but powerful. The story in itself is pretty weird, a former prison warden at his old age recalls the story of a Jesus like fellow who was on Death Row for murdering children. If by chance you haven't seen it, I won't spoil how it goes.
Based off of a Stephen King story, you pretty much know you're gonna get a good tale spun for ya. Add box office certainty Tom Hanks to the mix and you're pretty much set. This is the kinda movie that doesn't have any dull moments anywhere, and is pretty well made overall.
The Shawshank Redemption.
Likely a favourite of many people. Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman star in this prison story by Stephen King (odd pattern emerges?) about a guy who gets imprisoned for murdering his wife and her lover. Being a coy banker, he quickly gains the trust of the head warden who has him laundering funds. Meanwhile, plots are being built up every which way. Lovely film, with Tim Robbins totally killing it and Morgan Freeman being his usual fantastic self.
Reservoir Dogs
Classic Tarantino, with an impressive cast to boot. The story of a robbery pulled off by guys that don't even know each other. Each of them referred to by a color (Why do I have to be Mr. Brown? Brown is the color of shit.). Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Steve Buscemi etc ... although you probably have seen it. Why the fuck wouldn't you have?
I'll put this film on the same position as Pulp Fiction, which isn't on this list, simply because it's been such a long time since I've actually seen it.
The Mummy
Yeah, it's not that good. But let's list the pros here. Rachel Weisz in 1999 (she was really fit, and she kind of still is). Oded Fehr not being some paper pusher from a foreign intelligence agency and instead being a warrior of an ancient tribe destined to protect the tomb of the mummy (specifically trying to stop people from opening it and bringing him back to life. Obviously failing to do that), the movie debut of the always funny Omid Djalili. Oh, and that guy who played two guys in Jumanji ("Van Pelt!") and now plays another guy. Fun, predictable film ... without any of the CGI that would make Rocky look all rubbery in the sequel.
The Terminator.
Yeah, that's the kind of movies I like to watch, because they don't require much prerequisite. Oh man, it's so 80's. Plus, it has Schwarzenegger not saying all too much, which is a benefit to us all. Let's be fair ... Ahnuld is probably the worst actor our generation has ever seen, if you're looking for pure skill instead of one-liner hilarity.
Anyways, many would rank T2 above this one, but I don't. Hell, T2 was a fucking buddy movie, while the original, although terribly dated, was so much darker. Also, there are tits to be seen, even if they do belong to Linda Hamilton, who managed to become less of a butterface as time went on, but is still full on buttery in 1984. Omagawd, the mullets! the fucking mullets!
Also , most quotable line ever originated right in this film! If I need to tell you which one, you'll gonna want to see it.
Serenity
I'm firmly with the Browncoat legion. Serenity being the feature film closure to the cult series Firefly that got shitcanned by Fox midway through the first season's tapings. It however got such a cult following that they celebrated the tenth anniversary of its appearance (and well, cancellation) in 2012. But they also did this film, which is the awesomeness of the series, but on a larger scale, and much more polished. Seriously, watch Firefly and then watch Serenity. YOU HAVE TO. Captain Tightpants commands you.
Also, it's Joss Whedon's film debut. He created and outlined Firefly and subsequently wrote and directed Serenity. He's like also the director and co-writer of Avengers. What more convincing do you need?
(BREAK FOR EVERY READER TO WATCH SERENITY...)
There, wasn't that just a fantastic experience? I told you so.
Spaceballs
It may surprise you ... I have not seen a single "episode" of Star Wars. None of the originals, none of the prequels and likely not the reboot. I have, however, seen the parody. Mel Brooks has a very hit or miss type of career when it comes to making parody movies. Spaceballs is firmly among the hits and as per usual, he stars in it himself.
It's fucking glorious. Bill Pullman, John Candy and Rick Moranis have the starring roles. That's kind of all you need to know. I'm smiling just thinking back. And if you've read my other entries, you'll realise that smiling is not something that comes naturally to me. Frankly, the only failsafe mechanisms to make me smile are tits and/or beer.
Ghost Rider
I love my superhero movies. I really do, ever since Jack Nicholson was the joker and Christopher Reeve was Superman. I'm a Marvel guy though. So why Ghost Rider? Simple, all the other Marvel movies, save for the second Ghost Rider was good. This one really isn't. Nic Cage (yeah, him) stars as Johnny Blaze, who sells his soul to Peter Fonda to save his father. It backfires on him and when Peter Fonda's son tries to cross daddykins, Johnny Blaze is transformed into a fiery jock who delivers justice. The premise is fine, but the execution ... dear Zeus.
But well, this is the kinda movie that's still firmly within the "so bad it's good"-category. The sequel isn't.
Hugo
Still relatively new, but this Scorsese film is just brilliant. Great sets, child actors who are reasonably good. Ben Kingsley as Georges Mélies. Many people thought it was quite boring, I enjoyed every minute of it. I can't really say much about it without delving into the plot so just go and watch it.
I can't really think of any other films that would make my top 10... or mostly even why the above listed would, really. What's left for me are honorable mentions
Sarah's Key (because I can't be arsed to look up the French spelling), a partially English, partially French film about a jewish girl during the second World War. During Pétain's rule, that is. Parallel to that is the story of a journalist (played by the ever horrible Kristin Scott Thomas) researching Sarah's life after she moves into her old family home. It's a great film though and having been forced to watch it for school, it was almost relieving.
Gran Torino. Another one I was forced to watch for school. Well, it's basically Clint Eastwood being a flagrant racist who goes from Dirty Senile Harry to the Good, the not-so Bad, but definitely Ugly.
The Wrestler. Of course. Mickey Rourke showing that he can actually act. Also, cameos from many indy stars such as Human Tornado (El Snowflake!), Necro Butcher and of course, Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Pretty entertaining, with the added bonus if you know at least something about the wrestling business.
Now, I've made the decision to balance out the testosterone with some much needed female hormones ... so you could actually spill some testosterone all over your keyboard if you're up for it.
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Because of this, I've been delving into the world of modelling (you're welcome.), to find fine specimen for you to fawn over for just a moment. I figure it'll be equally useful if my entry is total horseshit. That way, you'll leave with at least a happy thought.
I've sort of weened it in a couple of entries ago, with Candice Swanepoel.
This time, I'll leave you with this one. I'll even include her name, for further research. You're welcome.
Lais Ribeiro. You know ... I could have included boobies, but I'd have to change the setting of this blog to NSFW. You have the name, you search the boobies. It would be well worth your time too.
If this is something you don't want me to continue ... fuck it man, you don't know the hardships I've had to endure searching for the pretty ones.
~Delrihuzz
