Too close for comfort

Evening (or any other appropriate time based-greeting)


To start off, I'm slightly worried. 


A mere two weeks ago, we were served a pretty good pay per view, by WWE's 2011 standard. It wasn't anywhere near Money in the Bank or Summerslam, but those were evidently great by the main event and the build up for the matches. Night of Champions was simply not eventful enough to continue for the hattrick (excuse the soccer/football terminology).


The problem now, is that the next pay per view Hell in a Cell is already scheduled for this coming Sunday, in New Orleans. Regardless of what WWE puts on ( possibly entertaining matches at that), it will obviously suffer from low buyrates.


I reckon personally that the numbers for Night of Champions were good, simply because they took the time to decently promote the matches. With Hell in a Cell, they have had 2 weeks to promote the card and the event. Add to that the fact that a good number of people forked out a hefty sum for Night of Champions and Hell in a Cell will turn into a commercial failure. 


To me, it seems so much easier (and possibly more lucrative) to promote less pay per view events, and use the given extra time to properly promote the remaining ones. You simply cannot promote properly in two weeks. Even 4 weeks is barely passable. That's one of the reasons Wrestlemania always pulls good numbers.
They start promoting it right after the Rumble. Of course, the fact it's the pro wrestling Super Bowl doesn't hurt either.


Enough with the marketing babble. Hell in a Cell could be a decent PPV. With 4 matches currently announced, I expect some impromptu bouts. Half of the current bouts announced are promising. I'll run all of them down.


John Cena (c) vs CM Punk vs Alberto Del Rio - WWE Championship - Hell in a Cell match


The first ever Triple Threat HIAC match. We'll just forget the 2000 Armageddon Hell in a Cell for a while and act like this will end in a never-before-seen bloodbath. This will undoubtedly be a great match, however. 


Punk has never been able to suck, and has put on three consecutive top tier matches on PPV. 
Alberto Del Rio, love him or hate him .. but he's skilled when it comes down to ring work. Smart worker and everything. Cena, being average at best, will benefit greatly from having to guys to work with, giving his ring work much needed depth.


I expect a lot of action between Cena and Punk, since those guys have built up their rivalry a lot already and they work great together. Del Rio will of course have his share, and I expect he will wait it out, avoiding too much contact at first.


Regardless, I expect CM Punk to take the title. That can continue the feud between Del Rio and Cena. CM Punk in turn will get much needed momentum. After the build up they gave him, it wouldn't be wise having him lose two times in a row on PPV. 


This Punk match could also do without Kevin Nash. That bit has run its course, now that Triple H isn't even involved in the match anymore. I found it to be incredibly cheap to have Nash interfere in their NOC match. 


Christian vs Sheamus - Singles Match.


Sheamus has been getting over pretty well as a face, and his ring style is solid. He basically took over the role that Ezekiel Jackson had, and proved that Ezekiel Jackson is a complete wreck when it comes to wrestling. The fact that he's wrestling Christian will be beneficial to him as well. Christian is well rounded and is definitely good enough to put Sheamus over in a credible manner.


That's that. Despite Christian being my absolute favorite superstar ever, along with Regal, it's fairly obvious what the outcome will be. Either Christian will pick up the win in a dicky DQ manner or Sheamus goes over clean. DQ finishes on PPV's are ballsy and generally a risk rarely taken, so I expect a clean win for our Irish fella.


I don't like Christian's new old whining gimmick. These days, he's the Creepy Little Bastard, without the entertainment value.


Mark Henry (c) vs Randy Orton - World Heavyweight Championship - Hell in a Cell Match 


This is the kinda match I wouldn't even pay half a buck for. I've tried and failed to find the entertainment value in Mark Henry. Lots of IWC big shots are praising WWE for putting the belt on Mark, but I heartily disagree.  Mark Henry has the charisma of a wet blanket and the wrestling skill generally possessed by an urangutan.


Randy Orton isn't exactly the definition of quality entertainment. For a while now, I have been wondering whether Skynet had him killed and replaced him with a T-800 (Appropriate, since I just held a Terminator-marathon. Even the shitty ones.)


Orton has never been a vat of enthusiasm on the stick, but good heavens. Since 2007, this guy has been downright lame to listen to. I get a bigger kick out of listening to REO Speedwagon on repeat.


The build up for this match has been like listening to a monologue on quantum physics. At one point, you just wake up, teary-eyed with drool seeping from your mouth, surprised this severe mental torture hasn't yet ended (This is also the general consensus for most of my days at college.)


Even though I really couldn't give two fucks about this match, I reckon Henry will retain, cleanly. The only way this match could be saved is if Orton wins and Bryan cashes in MITB afterwards.




The last announced match is Kelly Kelly (c) vs Beth Phoenix - Divas Championship - Singles Match.


Yeah, what can I say about this match? Divas matches are usually piss breaks in my book, but Kelly is always nice to look at, so why not. Beth is a good wrestler, but she plays the power game. Considering Kelly has been able to claim victory over Beth a few times already, usually in the same manner (Glam Slam counter roll up thingy) there has to be a different approach to this match. 


Kelly isn't a good wrestler. You can expect very little more from a swimsuit model turned wrestler type of girl.  She doesn't completely suck, like Chyna (who did that a little too literally. Serves me right for actually watching that tape).


Anyways, this match probably won't last long, but I expect Beth to win here. The highlight of this match will be, the anticipation for a wardrobe malfunction. 


In closing, Zack Ryder should really be on tv more often. Really.




~D.