Thoughts on 'Mania 30

SPOILERS AHEAD, AS IF YOU HADN'T FIGURED THAT OUT.

Hello

Imagine my surprise when I completely forgot that 'Mania was taking place on the 6th. I didn't plan on watching it, so it didn't matter after all. 

I did sift through it earlier today. Surprisingly, it was a pretty solid show. 

The pre-show saw the Usos take on three teams in a four way battle royal for the tag belts. Nothing spectacular whatsoever, unless it is used as a vehicle to break up a tag team where one competitor is about to go totally over as a solid face. Guess what ...

Indeedio, The Real Americans broke up, with Cesaro big swinging Sylvester The Cat away. No one should be surprised, considering this has been teased for quite a while. And I don't even watch the product regularly.

I wonder why Ryback is still there. He's the archetypical guy Vince loves, but he's stuck in tag team competition (that term is used loosely) whereas two slender guys, who have been IWC darlings most of their careers are going over like it's nothing (ie. Cesaro and Bryan). Is this Valhalla? Probably not.

Pre show over, cue opening segment.

Out comes Hogan. My time is in high risk of being wasted. Three sentences later, my mind changes. He already fucks up by getting the name of the arena wrong. It's probably in huge lettering on the front. How can you not see that? Out comes Stone Cold, he mocks Hogan for fucking up. Kissing of the Ass ensues. Catchphrases thrown around like birth control pills at a cheerleading retreat. Then out comes Rocky, to the surprise of the audience. More mocking of Hogan's fuck up (I can't stress how much joy that brings me). More kissing ass, more catchphrases. Ultimate catchphrases to end the segment. I'm not sure why I watched the whole thing. Ding Ding Ding. 

Out comes Steph, dressed like Ellen Degeneres. Out next comes Shao Kahn. Oh wait, that's a shovel he's carrying, not a hammer. Must be Aitch Aitch Aitch. Big ass intro for the king of kings. Then there's Bryan. Epic music as usual, not so spectacular entrance. 

Because he doesn't need one. Match starts off typical. Trips focuses heavily on the "injured" arm of D-Bry. 
Bryan gets some good shots in. Trips has apparently trained with Bryan a bit. I've never seen him chainwrestle until now. German suplexes? The world has gone mad. Obligatory close calls until the out of the blue finish. D-Bry wins, gets beaten up some more, goes to the world title match later in the show. Goodie.

For some reason though, Triple H came out of this match looking very strong. Curious how he has to take the spotlight, even when he's all but retired. 

Shield vs Kane/NAO

Short, meaningless match. Good thing too. The last thing you want to do is waste valuable match time on this. 

Tiem for the André the Giant memorial extravaganza. 31 people in the ring? Chaotic is the proper word. Some nice spots left and right. Sheamus doing the 30 chops of Wrestlemania on Fandango before eliminating him. Kofi's pretty spectacular aim before being eliminated anyway. Eventually ends with Cesaro (him again? Him again!) hoisting Big show on his shoulder and tossing him out. Cesaro is over. Goodie. 

John Cena is up next, so I'll save everyone the time. Of course he wins. Hopefully Bray Wyatt and his forest cult goons haven't lost all momentum now and fade into obscurity. That would be a shame. I skipped the match of course, so I can't say if it was an impressive showing.

The annual certainty is up. The certainty being that I wonder if Taker is still able to walk to that ring. 25 minute match with Taker getting a close win. Ding Ding Ding wait ... *record scratch soundbyte* Cheering Heyman, people in the audience shocked beyond belief? <sassy black girl voice> Oh no, they di'n't</sassy black girl voice>

Here's the unpopular opinion. I think it's a good thing. Taker can finally say goodbye (we all know he seriously needs it). He isn't pressured to continue the streak and it's not like he needed to anyway. His legacy is cemented now. If I had money to spare, I'm guessing he's getting inducted into the HOF next year. No more matches, just a recognition of his legacy at WM and beyond. Then call it a day.

While I'm not particularly happy it ended up being Lesnar, I'm glad it's not Cena or Batista that did it.

After the shock and awe, some lighthearted romp. Diva invitational. lots of kicking about, I presume. AJ wins anyway. I don't care either way. 


Main event tiem! Orton vs Batista vs D-Bry (Him again? Him again!) for the WWE World Heavyweight Regional Play-off championship title. I fucking love how this turned out to be a vehicle for Daniel Bryan to become the top dog. Orton and Batista are made to look like shit, losing to a guy that already had an half hour match, "injured". Especially since Batista was the one tapping. Show ends with droves of confetti and D-Bry holding two titles aloft. All was well.

Short note on the Hall of Fame ceremony. Jake the Snake had easily the most heartfelt of speeches. Good to see he's doing well now. Also, very classy to have Taker come out and show respect to his trusted manager without breaking character. 

Also, one of his sons did a dead on impression of his father's well known phrase. Fucking eerie. 

On the most side of notes: While I took the previous season of Total Divas for the light hearted spectacle it was... it's getting seriously on my nerves now. 

~D.