what a good time to be a fan.

Hai


They've fucking done it again. I guess I'm to blame a little as well. I shouldn't keep checking the videos on WWE's youtube channel from time  to time. Yeah ... they weened me back in, and not even smoothly.

What's even more surprising is that the Diva division is what tipped the scales back in favor of wrestling. If me 5 years ago could read this, he'd probably have me committed. Bastard is surely capable of doing it. 

Okay, twenty-two year old me, relax. It's Rebecca Knox and Flair's daughter, ok? Remember Rebecca Knox, that Irish girl that was way too beautiful to be a fantastic wrestler as well? Yeah, her. And no, Flair's daughter didn't inherit Ric's hairline or David's inability to get over. Are we good? Okay.

It has to be done. For as much as I've ragged on Triple H and his golden shovel tactics, he's done a pretty fan-fucking-tastic job on NXT and bringing them onto the main roster and give them time and opportunity to be embraced by the fans.

I love Becky Lynch. Really do. She's the kind of woman, I'd probably stutter in front of while swinging about a diamond ring I can't afford. Irish, redheaded and wrestling skill are three qualities I greatly appreciate in a woman. And since you can't graft a vagina or a crash course in entertaining wrestling onto Sheamus, options aren't in abundance. (Although grafting a vagina onto Sheamus could be a medical breakthrough!)

Rebecca Quin/Knox/Lynch is someone I'd followed for a while almost a decade ago, until she quit wrestling altogether. So, it's good to see she came back and is absolutely killing it. Seriously, her match versus Sasha Banks for the title is one of the best matches I've seen. Not just women's. Storytelling, sequences, ring psychology were all.on.point. 

Same thing goes for Charlotte "I'm a Flair, but hey". I'm not a fan of nepotism in wrestling (Fuck you, [REDACTED] for bringing your daughter Brooke into it, despite her having no discernible talent). But Charlotte can actually wrestle really well. There's of course copious references to her dad ("do it with Flair"? Really? Most women likely have, to be honest). But at the least, she has plenty of skill to make it without riding her dad's legacy (like many women have, unless his knob isn't called legacy.)

Anyways ... Tough Enough is really shit. Never realised that Austin was the one that made it entertaining. Also, fuck you voting audience, for keeping Z "gatorfuckin' yeehaw" Z in there. 

YAY for Kevin Owens, Cesaro, Ambrose and Rollins being featured more often! Cesaro getting a good push? Who'd have deemed it still possible? 

While I don't wish any harm on any people. I can't be sad about the fact that John Cena is sneezing horizontally for the time being. It bothers me that a guy who's been pushed to the mid card to give others a chance is still practically main eventing. 

Soooo .... we've been making fun of that one Booker T promo on [REDACTED] for years on end. Surprisingly, it caught up to the guy. Whether [REDACTED] is a flaming racist or not is of no consequence. I hate the guy anyways. I assume most of the world will continue to agree with that sentiment. Brother.

Damn shame about Piper. Way too soon. Genuinely one of the most entertaining guys WWF/E ever had. I imagine some of his promos are obligatory learning material for the nxt guys and girls. First Dusty and now Piper. That's two top guys gone in the span of about a month. Sheesh.

On a personal note, I'm doing better. I've been gradually losing weight and becoming less cynical over the past two months. A little over 30 pounds completely shedded and I'm feeling energetic. All is well. Still unemployed though, but summer's almost over, which should help.

I might go more in depth at a later time. I also imagine I'll be focusing strictly on wrestling for the time being, as my media ingestion is fairly irregular, if not non-existent. 

~D.

Fashionably late becomes a trend. Looking back at WM31

Salve a tutti

I know, I know. We’ve had a ppv since Mania 31 and one coming up fairly soon. Doesn’t matter, will still give my two cents on the event.

I’m writing this in two waves actually. Since my interest in wrestling has waned considerably over the past year (with something of a flare up right now) I fear I might get bored halfway through. I’ve seen up until the Taker match, so enough to muse about already.

First things first, I didn’t watch the pre-show. I haven’t got a clue who was on it (but I’m guessing it would be some of my favourites).

The first match should be a highlight of the event already. Money in the bank ladder match for no money in no bank.  No worries, they get the consolation prize that is the intercontinental championship. FOR AT LEAST A MONTH! WOW!

I like Dean Ambrose, hands down the funniest guy on the roster right now. I hadn’t seen too much of his indy days (being in CZW and all, which I don’t particularly care for), but it’s fairly obvious why he’s so top of the heap right now.

Lots of talent in this ring all of a sudden. Near grabs, some highspots, some ladder shenanigans. Quite enjoyable, but it didn’t feel like there was much of a highlight in that match. Odd.

Unless you consider a glittery ladder spot and the fact that R-Truth is still employed AND gets a Mania payday highlights. Somewhere in Brooklyn, a single tear rolled down JTG’s face. Of course, Daniel Bryan wins it. Strange that it can be said with such certainty, but let’s be honest here. There was no way it would go differently. As much as I like Bryan, I feel Dean Ambrose must win every match he is in.

Next up, Randy Orton being his usual self, with Wrestlemania DLC tacked on to give it just that little extra. Alongside Seth Rollins showing why he’s a hot commodity right now. Rollins is hot as hell right now, which is good to see, even though he’s really no Ambrose.

Matter of fact, Rollins is more Edge than anything else. Blatantly so. Not a bad comparison to make. Younger and fitter Edge-like heel is a good spot to be in. These guys go back and forth quite well, though outcome-wise, there’s little surprise. Sweet finish though. Up there with Randy’s best RKO’s. Outta nowhere…

Next up, a WWE network “Monday Night Wars” promo as Sting faces off in his first ever WWE match against Triple H. I neglected to count how many times the commentary team sucked the looming cock of Vince McMahon’s brainchild while comparing WCW to an unsavory turd on the sole of their shoes. Not to mention, namedropping “Monday Night War!” at every turn. Michael Cole talks as if he's got Vince McMahon's balls still on his chin.

OHMAGAWD King! It’s X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws (DX)! Coming to the aid of Triple H! OHMAGAWD King! It’s Hogan, Nash and Hall (nWo)! Coming to the aid of Sting! OHMAGAWD Shawn Michaels! (DX)

Really? Really? You’re pushing the faction war, despite everyone being publicly known as friends? With X-Pac and HBK literally having been members of both? Fuck that jazz. I will admit that my memory is decidedly shit, but to completely neglect a fact that was likely brought up the day before at the hall of fame is horseshit.

Decent match though. Lots of sorta-highlights.

• -           Scott Hall, seemingly sober (that of course didn’t last)
• -           Kevin Nash, gingerly falling over and grabbing his thigh/knee is fucking hilarious
•        No Dean Ambrose
• -           The intro by Arnold Schwarzenegger is equally hilarious. Triple H and his terminator style  entrance was, however, tacky.
• -           I’m beginning to think Wrestlemania became a promo vehicle for the new Terminator film  (coming JULY 1^ST TO THEATERS NEAR YOU! IN 3D!)
• -           I want to watch the new Terminator film. DAMMIT!

After a good match, time for the usual piss break. Imagine my distress when I didn’t have to go for a piss. All the options left are having a wank, a smoke or actually watch the divas match (whilst not wanking). I decided on the latter, despite likely deriving more from the former two. Alas.

It’s noticeable that the Bellas have actually gotten better at wrestling. It’s still not much to look at, but the cringing is almost non-existent now. This is an odd feeling.  Although it could be because they’re going against two women who can actually wrestle quite well.

It’s weird though. No matter how good they are, they will always look like a group of backyarders, trying to emulate the “sooperstars on the tv”. No hate, been there myself.

I don’t remember who won, and it’s pretty likely it doesn’t matter either. AJ’s gone now, no?

UH OH! Video package showing the troops and the flag. We know where this is going.

Ok ok, there’s Obama, some more troops, DUBYA(!) and then … BAM, republican insta-boner as Reagan appears. We know where this is going! YESSIR, there comes Rusev and his mistress … manager Lana.

The obligatory John Cena humping the patriotism parade float like a two bit pimp. Why? Because ‘MURICA!! Yee-haw!!

Same old shit, let’s just pause the writing here and  watch Taker.

LOOOOONG AS SHIT INTRO, FOR BOTH OF THEM, OH LORD HAVE MERCY. Not really, they’re long but yeah, *skip*

This is actually a really good match, given the psychology behind it. “the old vs new face of fear”. Taker is looking healthy but is really selling the old and tired man angle. False finishes galore and bam Taker wins on his second tombstone. Goody. As much as Bray Wyatt deserves a push, it wouldn’t be good if Taker lost at Mania again.

Final match, Tourist vs Green Goblin for the world title. Goodie goodie.

Truth be told, I liked every bit about this match. It made Lesnar look strong as shit, it made Reigns look resilient and strong while covering up that he’s really not that versatile in the ring. And the best part about it is that neither man actually won. Thank you Seth! (Although a surprising lack of Dean Ambrose in this finish.)

All in all, I quite enjoyed the show. Not so many highlights, but solid throughout. We all know that even that outcome could be pretty unique over the past decade.

Rollins is having a good run as world champ. A program with Dean Ambrose over the belt, which they seem to be going for now, could easily last well past the summer. Now Neville, Sami Zayn and Kevin Steen/Owens are appearing on the main shows regularly, balor and KENTA doing well … it seems like there is a bit of “future building” going on.

I LIKE IT!

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I seem to have more of a knack for writing wrestling-related stuff than other entertainment stuff.

~D. 

Ringing in the new year fashionably late

Hullo

So, the new year is well underway. Figured I might as well write something.

For those I haven't seen since 2015 landed, happy new year. That means, strictly speaking, just about everyone.

Still unemployed, ranting internally about companies not even doing you the courtesy of telling me to fuck off. 

Lots of time for movies though. Even though I'm not a movie buff, and hopefully gainfully employed by the time any of my desired movies hit theaters.

You wanted me to talk about the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe for the willfully uninitiated) and its offshoots. Here goes. Backstory-ish first though.

I've been somewhat of a Marvel fanboy since a young age. Despite none of the comics being available locally, the cartoons were. Spider-Man and X-Men mostly. I watched the shit out of them, not really thinking about the deeper messages they entailed. Fucking lasers, man. OUT OF HIS FUCKING EYES, YUSSSS.

cue growing up and those cartoons inevitably ending. Not very sad at the time. Out comes Fox with the first X-Men movie. I had to check it out. If not for nostalgic reasons (though I was barely 12 years old). Loved the shit out of it, and wore out the VHS. Yes, VHS.

Didn't spark anything though. No internet connection at the time (probably for the best too. The amount of porn I would've consumed couldn't have been healthy). Internet connection came about some 5 years later and was too busy with wrestling to look up Marvel comics.

Iron Man comes out in 2008. Didn't care, other than a cameo in the Spider-Man series, I knew next to nothing about Iron Man. Didn't help he was kind of a dick during that cameo. 

2011. Not so very long ago. Interest in wrestling waned momentarily. I don't think I need to rehash why. Read just about any wrestling related entry I've posted here. Not much to do except college assignments but since I was flunking out of that anyway, I didn't care.

Decided to watch Iron Man just for the hell of it. And of course, I loved the shit out of it. Watched Iron Man 2 immediately after. Less good, still awesome. Wait, Marvel has more films out? They have Joss Whedon attached to a product? YUSSSS! (I had watched Firefly not too long before and had a massive Whedonboner, fyi)

WATCH ALL THE MARVEL FILMS. Captain America, Thor and even that remotely ok Hulk film.
Loved all of it. Well, shit. 

It's now something of a religion. Even after reading up about the characters and possible story arcs for the films to tackle, I can rant like comics expert. I don't, because it's silly. Who gives a shit if it's true to the comics. They are entertaining films.

Much like myself, every competitor in the superhero genre realised far too late that Marvel was pretty much rendering their franchises (a lot of them Marvel based) completely fucking useless.

Sony was resting happily producing another Spidey film, because they knew audiences would be drawn to it. "Why expand? Spidey works!"
Fox produces a couple of X-Men films (the ensemble films being really good, the standalone Wolverine movies not so much.)

DC running behind hopelessly, coming out of a successful run with the Batman trilogy and doing absolutely fuck all to capitalise on it while the franchise was shit hot. Now Marvel has the top spot, and with their quality control and using key people who actually know their comics are light years ahead of any competitors.

This allows them to take chances on new characters. They are now in the position that Sony was in, being an almost guaranteed success. It shouldn't be a wonder that Sony has now struck a deal with Marvel.

Spidey gets to appear in Marvel produced films, with Sony making use of Marvel's expertise on the character as well as piggy-backing  off the success that Marvel still has to this day. 

Superhero films always work. That's why the comics endure. New generations stand up and read them, and relate in some way. Wanting to be those heroes even. No matter how sick of those films you might become, there's always someone else looking forward to that next installment. For the time being, that'll be me for sure. Even if Marvel drops the ball at some point ... I'll still forgive them, because they've brought me so much entertainment during my lifetime, it would be wrong not to. 

Now that they've announced the release dates for several films up until 2020 (and pushed back some, because of the Spidey involvement) it looks like any competitor is fighting a losing battle. Marvel gambled and won. An Affleck Batman rehash isn't going to change that.  Buona Fortuna, amici.

Ah well, DC still has tv huh. I can't say I've watched Flash, Arrow or Gotham, but they're getting good reviews. Agents of SHIELD is pretty fucking awesome though. Slow start for season 1 but so far, things are absolutely looking mighty amazing.

All in all, it looks like Marvel will be dominating the box office for quite some time. I'm not unhappy about it either. At this point, I can only hope the Assassin's Creed film will turn out to be a critical and commercial success. Fuck, I love that series.

copyright to the respective owners, probably Victoria's Secret.

Oh, and I couldn't care less about the Star Wars trilogy. I might end up watching it at some point, but since I haven't seen the original trilogy or the prequels, I wouldn't bank on it.

I should add a babe right? Which one should I highlight ...

Let's go for Sara Sampaio, my favourite Portuguese person. Because she's cool as well as pretty.
Replying to random tweets of mine a couple of times. Not that I'm bragging or anything ... why would I? It would make appear even more of a sad, lonely fucker. Ah shit, I'll carry that badge proudly! As per usual, boobs are google-able.




Anything else you want me to talk about, or something wrestling related? Let me know. Until then.

Peace be upon thee, young Padawan.



~D. 

** Addendum: 

I feel Marvel will continue to keep traction going for the planned schedule up to 2020. However, this market will likely be satiated by the time Marvel reaches the end of their current schedule. Take a break guys, before you plunge into the depth that an inevitable push back will create. Your actors won't be around for the next 20 years sticking to the suit they made inarguably famous. 

I don't expect them to do it, with so many hot commodities attached to the projects, but still...

For the time being, Marvel won't have anything to worry about. Diverse characters (Carol Danvers; smart choice), enough source material to create genre-films, possibly avoiding the pitfall detailed in the comments below about superhero films dying a slow and painful death because it was no longer the story that prevailed.

That's Marvel's strength. Striking the balance between characters and their development as well as providing a story that isn't a strictly by the book "good vs evil" popcorn flick.
I thought it took balls to turn Winter Soldier into a political thriller. And it likely saved that film from turning into a cartoonesque mess (i.e. Batman & Robin, Every Superman film since 1978*)


So, what am I looking forward to? Age of Ultron, Fantastic Four reboot (I really want to see if they can do it better; sheesh those first two were really not good); Terminator Genisys (shoot me, I love the franchise, including the much maligned T3); the Hitman film (I liked the first one too, partly because Tim Olyphant is fucking awesome in everything he does). And not to forget: X-Men: Apocalypse. The current X-Men cast is fucking stellar (MacAvoy is probably even my favorite) and Apocalypse is pretty much the top villain within the X-Men franchise. Lastly, Deadpool. Have you seen the test footage?  Totally convinced this will be awesome.


*Yes, every single one. While I enjoyed I and II, it was never what it was supposed to be. Superman I was recut from what director Richard Donner envisioned, turning it into a parody of itself with the most ass backwards Deux Ex Machina ending imaginable. 

While I liked Man of Steel, it wasn't nearly good enough to wash away the vile taste of Superman returns. Good heavens, that was a terrible movie.