bienvenidas a todos
No beating around the bush today. Last monday night, WWE announced the next installment in their ongoing videogame series. Much like last year, the company has done away with the SvR monniker and labels their next game WWE '13. I realise this videogame entry comes a far lot earlier than it did last year. There is a simple reason for that.
There simply won't be a review of WWE '13 by yours truly. After the gigantic clusterfuck that was WWE '12 (Labelled the best game they ever did, no less) I opted to stay the fuck away from anything that bears the WWE and PS3 logos). No matter how much THQ teases the smarks and idiots alike.
CM Punk is this years coverboy. Good, he deserves that kind of attention. That his face is on what is likely to be an abomination of a game is neglectable. The biggest teaser is the inclusion of an "attitude era". Supposedly 32 (!) Attitude Era superstars have been added to the game, aside from the 38 current stars. Damn you, THQ for making me want it somewhat. No, no, I must be strong. I can't bear to be annually disappointed.
I must admit, THQ's taglines for the game are never false marketing. The game promises the most lifelike experience of sports entertainment. No wonder it blows for the most part.
They do it every year, though. Call it the best game ever and once you get it, you realise they've successfully trolled you for the 8th year in a row. Last years controls were probably the worst I've had to deal with and sure enough, this years controls have been "modified" again. Modified.... I'd read that as "completely overhauled so it'll take you months to figure out". Maybe I'm just slow. The best controls were SmackDown: SYM, which is by far my favorite game THQ has put out along with SmackDown!2: KYR. Good times, great mammaries.
That spelling error was intentional. Oh the big boobies-made-out-of-polygons I've observed during my teenage years...There's still a proper assortment of knockers to be found in the games, but I've reached the point in my life where giant nipplebags no longer outweigh the shitty gameplay. Too bad.
About the Attitude thing. It sucks that they included it, because now people start thinking that WWE is going to take an Attitude Era approach to their weekly product. You know, last year they dumped Brock Lesnar in the game and he signed on with WWE a couple of months later. Don't get your hopes up folks. Even if WWE decides to take that "attitude" approach to their programming again, it still won't be like the olden days. Though it would make me curious.
Ah, dare I say programming hasn't been that awful lately? Christian returning as a face and getting a win streak going. The whole D-Bry/AJ Lee thing now involving Punk. How the fucking fuck is it possible that creative has gotten me interested in a romance angle?! THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!
Also, Skip Sheffield. One of the few big guys I find credible in any way. He's even over for crying out loud. I like him with this new/old Ryback persona. Personally, I like how they kept the best of his OVW/FCW Ryback (the animalistic fuck-people-up-mentality) and dropped the worst (Terminator-gimmick).
I wouldn't say the same for one of my personal favorites. Antonio Cesaro, still better known as Claudio Castagnoli, is stuck in a love triangle (another?!) with Aksana and Teddy Long. Aksana ... I still don't see the benefit of having it around. She speaks very little English and she doesn't actually do anything except walk around and, for lack of a better word, converse.
Also, Ricola Bomb please. This GSN - Gotch Style Neutralizer may be a nice throwback to the legend Karl Gotch, it is far inferior to the Ricola Bomb (or the Alpamare Waterslide, still one of my favorite moves). Ah well, still waiting for Seth Rollins ... and Chris Hero. I still hope the latter will get a different name when he's called up.
~D.
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Friday, 18 May 2012
Cornette's Impending Heart Attack
Alright, this pretty much leaves me dumbstruck. I have no witty snarl to accompany this obviously amazing piece of information that will take TNA into the next level (down, obviously). I can't help but wonder in what parallel universe this was conceived as a good idea.This will probably be the thing that gives Jim Cornette a heart attack. After all, Jim must now regret being in the annals of a company that so willingly turns itself into a parody of a wrestling company (I'd like to throw the initials WCW around, for good measure). This is the kind of news that makes me wish someone like Jeff Jarrett was still in charge and Vince Russo headed creative. Yes, you read that correctly. I would sit through 5 years of spew originating from the foul mind of Vince Russo than to contemplate what the fuck Brooke Hogan has to do with pro wrestling and how Dixie Carter thinks this is brilliant marketing.
It will have some positive effect though. Maybe this will be the catalyst to make people realise what kind of cancer Hulk Hogan is to TNA, and the wrestling business in general.
Alas, people (the small portion that can be distinguished by their adoration for the red and yellow and total lack of social skills) will blatantly see past this as a great way to see wrestling and fap at the same time. Remember brother ... if you toss off to images of Brooke, I'd like to remind you that she's a spitting image of her beloved daddy.
Fuck this company.
D.
Also, the totally amazing graphic artwork cut sloppily from the TNA website is of course owned by TNA entertainment LLC. They can keep it for all I care.
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
How is it possible?
Evening
You know, I've been a little on the fence about WWE's current storylines. Again, it's hit and miss as usual. Brock Lesnar jobbing to Cena on pay per view was a decision I found odd, to say the least.
It doesn't seem normal how you'd book a legit fighter as dominating in every which way, only to have him job merely one week later. Brock's return -> missed opportunity in my book.
CM Punk vs Jericho seems to have run its course now, and thankfully so. After their encounter at Wrestlemania, the storyline seemed to drag on. While none of the parties involved should be blamed, it seemed as if the writers were completely unable to write up a decent storyline.
The Daniel Bryan/ AJ saga is surprisingly good, and to have the petite nerdy girl turn into a violent psychopathic warbringer was completely out of left field and probably the most original decision possible. Fingers crossed they don't screw it up. This whole storyline also (re-)introduced me to NXT season three winner Kaitlyn. I hadn't really paid attention to her or what she'd been up to. I reckon it has to do with my aversion for diva matches.
It's safe to say now I realised that for a woman with a bodybuilding background, she's smoking hot. Dare I say she even surpasses the "girl so nice they named her twice" Kelly². Of course, in my perennial search for searing hotness in divas, I tracked back and actually found out she's in one heck of a storyline on NXT. Didn't see that one coming, did ya?
Maxine, another NXT alumni is going around being abusive to Johnny Curtis and Derrick Bateman. First, she makes whoopie with Bateman, before moving onto Curtis and then back to Bateman, all the while physically assaulting both of them. In comes Kaitlyn, who establishes an instant bro-mance with Bateman (for lack of a better word). La-dee-da ... doesn't seem interesting you'd say. Well, here's my POV:
Johnny Curtis has an awesome gimmick, being all creepy and weirding people out. Derrick Bateman is probably the most naturally charismatic and comedic character employed by WWE right now. Kaitlyn's ability to act makes it awesome. And then there's Maxine. There's one character that should NEVER be turned face, much like Dolph Ziggler. She just has something vile to her, and basically ... it works, she's believable.
To top it all off, the rosy nipple on the juicy tit of storyline perfection is that both ladies can actually wrestle a match. Not bad for girls whose debut took place within the last 4 years. Something for Kelly² to ponder over.
But wait, there's more! Damien Sandow, being all Jebusy and to be frank, plain cool. I hope to Perkele he'll have a better run this time around. Being one of Michelle McCool's teacher's pets didn't really fly well.
The rosy nipple on the second juicy tit, is Claudio Castagnoli's main show debut (as Antonio Cesaro, obviously)! Regardless of the way he debuted, as a love rival opposite Teddy Long (meh!), it's great to see someone who I've been watching for a loooong time (I'm talking Swiss Money Holding with Ares here) finally make it up there. The only thing I'm really bummed about is his finisher. While the "Gotch Style Neutralizer" is full of smart references, I miss the Ricola Bomb and even the Alpamare Waterslide.
I did see his elevated European Uppercut appear though ... phew. Now, creative team, bring me Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Corey Graves and "Kassius Ohno" and I will love you long time.
Basically, this is it. I can't even believe I'm saying this, but now I'm looking forward to the next episode of NXT. For fuck's sake ... NX - fucking - T! Next thing you know, I'll be watching Nascar, hahahaha
Sayonara, and more juicy tits
~D.
You know, I've been a little on the fence about WWE's current storylines. Again, it's hit and miss as usual. Brock Lesnar jobbing to Cena on pay per view was a decision I found odd, to say the least.
It doesn't seem normal how you'd book a legit fighter as dominating in every which way, only to have him job merely one week later. Brock's return -> missed opportunity in my book.
CM Punk vs Jericho seems to have run its course now, and thankfully so. After their encounter at Wrestlemania, the storyline seemed to drag on. While none of the parties involved should be blamed, it seemed as if the writers were completely unable to write up a decent storyline.
The Daniel Bryan/ AJ saga is surprisingly good, and to have the petite nerdy girl turn into a violent psychopathic warbringer was completely out of left field and probably the most original decision possible. Fingers crossed they don't screw it up. This whole storyline also (re-)introduced me to NXT season three winner Kaitlyn. I hadn't really paid attention to her or what she'd been up to. I reckon it has to do with my aversion for diva matches.
It's safe to say now I realised that for a woman with a bodybuilding background, she's smoking hot. Dare I say she even surpasses the "girl so nice they named her twice" Kelly². Of course, in my perennial search for searing hotness in divas, I tracked back and actually found out she's in one heck of a storyline on NXT. Didn't see that one coming, did ya?
Maxine, another NXT alumni is going around being abusive to Johnny Curtis and Derrick Bateman. First, she makes whoopie with Bateman, before moving onto Curtis and then back to Bateman, all the while physically assaulting both of them. In comes Kaitlyn, who establishes an instant bro-mance with Bateman (for lack of a better word). La-dee-da ... doesn't seem interesting you'd say. Well, here's my POV:
Johnny Curtis has an awesome gimmick, being all creepy and weirding people out. Derrick Bateman is probably the most naturally charismatic and comedic character employed by WWE right now. Kaitlyn's ability to act makes it awesome. And then there's Maxine. There's one character that should NEVER be turned face, much like Dolph Ziggler. She just has something vile to her, and basically ... it works, she's believable.
To top it all off, the rosy nipple on the juicy tit of storyline perfection is that both ladies can actually wrestle a match. Not bad for girls whose debut took place within the last 4 years. Something for Kelly² to ponder over.
But wait, there's more! Damien Sandow, being all Jebusy and to be frank, plain cool. I hope to Perkele he'll have a better run this time around. Being one of Michelle McCool's teacher's pets didn't really fly well.
The rosy nipple on the second juicy tit, is Claudio Castagnoli's main show debut (as Antonio Cesaro, obviously)! Regardless of the way he debuted, as a love rival opposite Teddy Long (meh!), it's great to see someone who I've been watching for a loooong time (I'm talking Swiss Money Holding with Ares here) finally make it up there. The only thing I'm really bummed about is his finisher. While the "Gotch Style Neutralizer" is full of smart references, I miss the Ricola Bomb and even the Alpamare Waterslide.
I did see his elevated European Uppercut appear though ... phew. Now, creative team, bring me Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Corey Graves and "Kassius Ohno" and I will love you long time.
Basically, this is it. I can't even believe I'm saying this, but now I'm looking forward to the next episode of NXT. For fuck's sake ... NX - fucking - T! Next thing you know, I'll be watching Nascar, hahahaha
Sayonara, and more juicy tits
~D.
Friday, 6 April 2012
More weight in the balance - many happy returns
Evening,
Again, a lot has transpired since Wrestlemania took place last Sunday. Of course, the inevitable fallout from the event, along with some exciting new threads being spun for future matches.
The IWC* has been buzzing about the return of the lost son, Brock Lesnar. After he buggered off in 2004 to try a pro "handegg" career and later MMA, many people wished he would come back (as well as many people wishing he'd stay the hell away).
Monday, he makes his triumphant return to proverbially kick John Cena in the ovaries. The pop was humongous (well, the kids know him from his MMA days, too) his return was a dud. I expected him to be rusty, but his F-5 to John Cena looked like the way Big Show did it. Botchy at best, in other words.
Apparently, he isn't slated to make much appearances throughout his deal, which is a shame. Anyone who remembers his run with Angle over the WWE title and the spilled milk incident knows what I mean. He isn't the most charismatic guy, but he can play off of guys who are very nicely. Maybe he even became a better talker now that he's been socked in the mouth a couple of times,
The second return was of Lord Tensai, and WWE went out of their way to acknowledge he is indeed A-Train (to my surprise). His match was unimpressive at best. I've seen his work while he was wrestling in Japan as Giant Bernard, and I know he's capable of so so much more. But I guess everyone has their role to play.
Speaking of roles to play .... and this is SPOILERISH, as it has only aired in Canada by now:
Daniel Bryan's 18 second match may have a positive twist. LOOK AT THIS GUY BEING ALL CHARISMATIC AND SHIT!:
I never credited DB with a lot of charisma, but this was bonerrific. MOAR!
Short entry is short. I was asked to talk about Brock and Albertensai so I did.
~D.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Wrestlemania 28 - Thoughts, ideas, questionable booking.
Good evening
So I've decided to watch Wrestlemania 28 completely and provide my thoughts. Surprising, considering I haven't watched a full Wrestlemania event since 22 (full still excludes diva matches). This specifically because the card was underwhelming for my taste. A few good matches coupled with numerous pointless ones. You can't win 'em all, I guess.
Anyways, Wrestlemania 28 featured a number of matches I wanted to see so I caved in and watched the event.
I'm now going to run down the card and provide my thoughts on each match that took place.
Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the Tag Team Championships.
Primo & Epico (c) vs Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs Uso's
This took place during the pre-show, which was viewable on youtube, the WWE website (which I can't even access without being redirected to the french website. fuck that.) and Facebook, apparently. This was a match I could look forward to regardless. It featured young stars, and it gave 'em the opportunity to shine. Cousins Primo & Epico ended up prevailing but Rikishi's boys Jey and Jimmy Uso stole the match for me. They worked a very solid match with a couple of nice spots here and there.
Why Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel were in that match to begin with is beyond me, but they seemed to be an obsolete factor and the match would've been good without them. The team's highlight was Justin Gabriel's missed spot when he slipped on the top rope while attempting a dive to the outside. It looked ridiculous and it even prompted announcers Josh Matthews and Matt Striker to apologetically blame the sweat and oil that was on the ropes. Yeah, sure. Either way Epico and Primo, who are a very cohesive team, ended up retaining their championships. Let's hope the Uso's will get a bite of the ensuing action. They showed they can tear it up even in a relatively short match.
Relatively short is an understatement for the first match on the main card. It's already baffling that the World Title match is the curtain jerker of the event, but the way it played out left me with the shame the creative team should've felt.
World Title Match - singles
Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus
This is probably the only match I've seen in between blinks. 18 seconds is all it lasted. No fucking excuses for this one, but apparently WWE wanted to break the record of the shortest match ever. A record they hold already. D-Bry turns around and meets with a boot from Sheamus. 1-2-3 and it's over. On top of it all, they didn't even break the record. The smoke from the opening pyrokinetics had barely cleared or match 2 was up. Every fan of Bryan Danielson just got a figurative truckload of manure dropped onto their heads. Fuck you Vince and the people you employ for creativity.
Singles Match
Kane vs Randy Orton
In all honesty, I expected Orton to waltz over Kane. Let's face it, Kane's monster return was stopped abruptly when he got involved with Cena and he's been the same joke character he was for a long time. Just a little more menacing. Imagine my surprise when they actually got ten minutes to work and even worked a very solid even match in which Kane took the victory. It still doesn't erase the horrible booking of the first match.
The third match was again, a step down. It's still WWE programming guys, highs and lows are mandatory.
Singles match for the Intercontinental Championship
Cody Rhodes (c) vs Big Show.
Five and a half minutes. 5.5 for a match that generally gets 20 mins. Big Show takes the win after Cody mounted some clever offense. I get how it's special for Big Show. It's his first IC title and all, but with everything Cody has accomplished since last year's Mania, it's a bit of a let down.
I can only hope this leads to a proper chance at the World Heavyweight championship for Cody. Otherwise, he gets the undeserved short end of the stick.
Next match, the divas and some trashbag ho who is pretty popular in the States. Didn't care, skipped it in favor of taking a piss.
Now, we're getting somewhere. Triple H vs Undertaker, Part III. The End of an Era as Jerry Lawler frequently reminds us early in the match.
It's funny, when it was first revealed that this match was gonna take place, I wondered why the hell they would go for this. It wasn't until the guys promo'd back and forth (repetitively) that they had my interest. And boy, did they deliver. This match was built up as "One Left Standing", the "End of an Era" apparently, though that didn't get tossed around much. (I sincerely hope you recognised the sarcasm.)
Nobody went into this match expecting a technical bout. Nope, it was all about beating the shit out of each other and they delivered greatly. Even Shawn Michaels as the special referee proved to be a worthwile decision as he played an integral part in elevating this one to the Asgaard of wrestling matches.*
*Where Oden is played by Dave Meltzer with a funny hat
This match should be an obligatory watch for every student of the game trying to "get" ring psychology. Also, Taker -> 20-0. The old dogs really showed the young guys how it's done.
There's no way any match on the card could top that showing, so WWE opts for a little lighthearted breather in between top bouts. Team Johnny vs Team Teddy. Didn't care, only saw the finish.
This whole match was reminiscent of the Team Alliance vs Team WWF match at Survivor Series 2001. Just less "at stake" and less interesting altogether. I was particularly surprised it was even used as a vehicle to further the heel turn of Eve Torres (of all people?!). Very blegh.
Luckily I have something good to look forward to!
Singles Match for the WWE Championship
CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho.
So, who is the best in the world?
This match had a good build up, with CM Punk finally snapping and kicking the shit out of Christian for some reason. This match had a lot at stake. Before the match started, Mr. Excitement himself declared that were Punk to be disqualified, he'd lose the WWE championship. Again, a great display of psychology early on, with both men later on relying on their technical ability to work a really solid match with a couple of false finishes. Great match overall, as expected. It even got over 20 minutes. Not bad.
Punk would benefit the most from winning, because it would elevate his character to the point where he's believable. Luckily, WWE Creative shared my vision and Punk ends up retaining after a very crafty finish.
The last match on the card....
Singles match
The Rock vs John Cena.
The match that had been hyped on and off for a year. I wasn't particularly stoked to see the match taking place and while I did watch, I was reminded why.
The segment started off good, obligatory special entrances and all. They started off generically (neither of these guys are Lou Thesz, after all) and soon enough, the match fell flat on its ass, before picking up near the end when Rock pinned Cena, to my surprise.
Neither of these guys would benefit or find a disadvantage from any result so it was basically good fun to see these guys go back and forth, without really excelling or even putting the previous matches to shame. A good match for the casual fan to close the show and go home happy.
Overall, the event was much better than last year's. There were some awesome matches and there were good matches. There was also a divas match and an appearance of Brodus Clay. Neither of those actually mattered one bit. I hope everyone noticed that Brodus Clay sucks out loud....
Won't stop creative from putting a title on him down the line....
Ah well... it could've been a lot worse.
~D.
So I've decided to watch Wrestlemania 28 completely and provide my thoughts. Surprising, considering I haven't watched a full Wrestlemania event since 22 (full still excludes diva matches). This specifically because the card was underwhelming for my taste. A few good matches coupled with numerous pointless ones. You can't win 'em all, I guess.
Anyways, Wrestlemania 28 featured a number of matches I wanted to see so I caved in and watched the event.
I'm now going to run down the card and provide my thoughts on each match that took place.
Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the Tag Team Championships.
Primo & Epico (c) vs Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs Uso's
This took place during the pre-show, which was viewable on youtube, the WWE website (which I can't even access without being redirected to the french website. fuck that.) and Facebook, apparently. This was a match I could look forward to regardless. It featured young stars, and it gave 'em the opportunity to shine. Cousins Primo & Epico ended up prevailing but Rikishi's boys Jey and Jimmy Uso stole the match for me. They worked a very solid match with a couple of nice spots here and there.
Why Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel were in that match to begin with is beyond me, but they seemed to be an obsolete factor and the match would've been good without them. The team's highlight was Justin Gabriel's missed spot when he slipped on the top rope while attempting a dive to the outside. It looked ridiculous and it even prompted announcers Josh Matthews and Matt Striker to apologetically blame the sweat and oil that was on the ropes. Yeah, sure. Either way Epico and Primo, who are a very cohesive team, ended up retaining their championships. Let's hope the Uso's will get a bite of the ensuing action. They showed they can tear it up even in a relatively short match.
Relatively short is an understatement for the first match on the main card. It's already baffling that the World Title match is the curtain jerker of the event, but the way it played out left me with the shame the creative team should've felt.
World Title Match - singles
Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus
This is probably the only match I've seen in between blinks. 18 seconds is all it lasted. No fucking excuses for this one, but apparently WWE wanted to break the record of the shortest match ever. A record they hold already. D-Bry turns around and meets with a boot from Sheamus. 1-2-3 and it's over. On top of it all, they didn't even break the record. The smoke from the opening pyrokinetics had barely cleared or match 2 was up. Every fan of Bryan Danielson just got a figurative truckload of manure dropped onto their heads. Fuck you Vince and the people you employ for creativity.
Singles Match
Kane vs Randy Orton
In all honesty, I expected Orton to waltz over Kane. Let's face it, Kane's monster return was stopped abruptly when he got involved with Cena and he's been the same joke character he was for a long time. Just a little more menacing. Imagine my surprise when they actually got ten minutes to work and even worked a very solid even match in which Kane took the victory. It still doesn't erase the horrible booking of the first match.
The third match was again, a step down. It's still WWE programming guys, highs and lows are mandatory.
Singles match for the Intercontinental Championship
Cody Rhodes (c) vs Big Show.
Five and a half minutes. 5.5 for a match that generally gets 20 mins. Big Show takes the win after Cody mounted some clever offense. I get how it's special for Big Show. It's his first IC title and all, but with everything Cody has accomplished since last year's Mania, it's a bit of a let down.
I can only hope this leads to a proper chance at the World Heavyweight championship for Cody. Otherwise, he gets the undeserved short end of the stick.
Next match, the divas and some trashbag ho who is pretty popular in the States. Didn't care, skipped it in favor of taking a piss.
Now, we're getting somewhere. Triple H vs Undertaker, Part III. The End of an Era as Jerry Lawler frequently reminds us early in the match.
It's funny, when it was first revealed that this match was gonna take place, I wondered why the hell they would go for this. It wasn't until the guys promo'd back and forth (repetitively) that they had my interest. And boy, did they deliver. This match was built up as "One Left Standing", the "End of an Era" apparently, though that didn't get tossed around much. (I sincerely hope you recognised the sarcasm.)
Nobody went into this match expecting a technical bout. Nope, it was all about beating the shit out of each other and they delivered greatly. Even Shawn Michaels as the special referee proved to be a worthwile decision as he played an integral part in elevating this one to the Asgaard of wrestling matches.*
*Where Oden is played by Dave Meltzer with a funny hat
This match should be an obligatory watch for every student of the game trying to "get" ring psychology. Also, Taker -> 20-0. The old dogs really showed the young guys how it's done.
There's no way any match on the card could top that showing, so WWE opts for a little lighthearted breather in between top bouts. Team Johnny vs Team Teddy. Didn't care, only saw the finish.
This whole match was reminiscent of the Team Alliance vs Team WWF match at Survivor Series 2001. Just less "at stake" and less interesting altogether. I was particularly surprised it was even used as a vehicle to further the heel turn of Eve Torres (of all people?!). Very blegh.
Luckily I have something good to look forward to!
Singles Match for the WWE Championship
CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho.
So, who is the best in the world?
This match had a good build up, with CM Punk finally snapping and kicking the shit out of Christian for some reason. This match had a lot at stake. Before the match started, Mr. Excitement himself declared that were Punk to be disqualified, he'd lose the WWE championship. Again, a great display of psychology early on, with both men later on relying on their technical ability to work a really solid match with a couple of false finishes. Great match overall, as expected. It even got over 20 minutes. Not bad.
Punk would benefit the most from winning, because it would elevate his character to the point where he's believable. Luckily, WWE Creative shared my vision and Punk ends up retaining after a very crafty finish.
The last match on the card....
Singles match
The Rock vs John Cena.
The match that had been hyped on and off for a year. I wasn't particularly stoked to see the match taking place and while I did watch, I was reminded why.
The segment started off good, obligatory special entrances and all. They started off generically (neither of these guys are Lou Thesz, after all) and soon enough, the match fell flat on its ass, before picking up near the end when Rock pinned Cena, to my surprise.
Neither of these guys would benefit or find a disadvantage from any result so it was basically good fun to see these guys go back and forth, without really excelling or even putting the previous matches to shame. A good match for the casual fan to close the show and go home happy.
Overall, the event was much better than last year's. There were some awesome matches and there were good matches. There was also a divas match and an appearance of Brodus Clay. Neither of those actually mattered one bit. I hope everyone noticed that Brodus Clay sucks out loud....
Won't stop creative from putting a title on him down the line....
Ah well... it could've been a lot worse.
~D.
Friday, 16 March 2012
The Hardest Part of Letting Go - Seniority in Wrestling
Hai
I usually delve into the current affairs when it comes to sports entertainment. This is basically why I barely update this blog. I figured it's time to write something on a wrestling - related topic, but outside of my usual business critique. This might be short, as - like always - I write this on the fly, without any clue what I'll end up talking about.
In this entry, I'll be taking a look at everyone's favorites, from 20 years ago.
These days, older wrestling fans still have the choice to watch the idols from their youth wrestle on a weekly basis. But in all seriousness, is this truly what we want to see happening? Is our dependance on nostalgia overpowering our desire to see good wrestling?
On a personal level, I've never cared much as to who is wrestling, as long as it is a good match. Through that very reason, I've managed to discover great wrestlers from all over the world, several of which ended up building their careers on a worldwide level. CM Punk, Bryan Danielson, Low Ki etc. you name 'em.
There are however a lot of people who couldn't care less about what constitutes good wrestling, as long as they look charismatic and flashy while trying. This is how many achieved longevity in the business, despite being well past their primes.
Hulk Hogan is probably the prime example of this phenomenon. He was a poor wrestler to begin with, but his typical in-ring shtick endured the rigors of routinous performances and to this day, it makes him a popular fixture in professional wrestling. Why? Because he's recognisable. Say the words "bandana" and "moustache" in one sentence and people will say "Hulk Hogan". What's sad is that Hogan has mistakenly interpreted this as people still being interested in seeing him perform that same shtick for at least a decade after he was served out. Today, Hogan is still involved in wrestling, working for the one company on this planet who shares his philosophy: TNA.
Person at fault here, besides Hogan? Vince McMahon. For all his impactful and successful decisions that made wrestling a global phenomenon, consistently bringing Hogan back to tv wasn't one of them. Not to mention the dealbreakers Vince offered him in the process. Would any old icon say 'no' to a hefty payday and full creative control for as long as the deal lasts? I don't think so. Hogan didn't either, and used his creative control to make sure he'd still be winning matches as much as possible, not caring how many up-and-coming stars he'd bury along the way. I take solace in the fact that Shawn Michaels oversold every single one of his crummy hits during their match in 2006. It was also the first Hogan match that I managed to sit out completely.
Shawn Michaels is another story. The man that managed to dominate from the late 80's to the late 90's until a back injury forced him to retire. Shawn was still around afterwards, in a non-wrestling capacity and rightfully so. Shawn pisses charisma on a daily basis and it still made use of his talents. In 2002, Shawn Michaels felt his back had healed enough to the point where he could return full-time. Was it a bad decision for Vince to put him in the limelight again?
Not one bit, because Shawn was still able to work entertaining matches and get over with the crowd. He did that until he retired for good from in-ring competition in 2010. The return turned out to be a blessing for Vince, because unlike before, Shawn was willing to put other people over. Before his first retirement, Shawn was infamous for refusing to job. From 2002-2010 he has put numerous people over. Something to ponder over, Terry. Instead of frantically attempting to preserve his own star like Hogan did, Shawn attempted to ensure the future of this business, by helping to build up those who would main event the shows of tomorrow. Now, he makes sporadic appearances, usually to help sell a story to the fans. Case in point being the upcoming match between Triple H and the Undertaker.
Onto the next, Ric Flair. Inarguably one of the best professional wrestlers of all time. He was the guy people would go to if they needed someone over. That's what Ric did best, he put over everyone, even the local jobbers but made himself look good in the process. Who hasn't heard the tales of Ric Flair wrestling an hour against a local boy and turn that boy into a superstar, even if for one night?
For years, the star of Ric Flair has been fading. After wrestling well past his prime, with his physique visibly deteriorating, he had one final WWE match in 2008, against the equally legendary Shawn Michaels. For one night only, he pulled out all the stops. While his matches the 5 years before had consisted of little more than chops, woo's and figure 4's .. his final match was a typical Flair match, including the typical shtick that made Ric a star in the 70's and 80's.
He finally retired, his last match being the perfect send-off. That is, until he ruined it all. Deciding he couldn't live on his (I've heard) 500.000$ a year deal with WWE, he went on to the only place that would still put him on the card consistently: TNA. Despite officially retiring, he proceeded to still wrestle in matches that would end up tainting his legacy. To this very day, he is still employed by TNA, who had hoped that having Flair on their roster would bring in the ratings ... which, of course, it hasn't.
TNA featured a lot of performers who were better off not being there for the sake of their own legacy. Mick Foley was one of those guys. Seriously, Foley wasn't the stereotypical wrestler in any way to begin with. He wasn't buff, nor particularly gifted as a wrestler. Nevertheless, Foley had his legitimate share of great matches during his career. This was particularly because of his crazy gimmicks, ability to talk and his ability to take relentless punishment.
The 1998 Hell in a Cell match needs no introduction. This match showed what a tough cookie Foley really is. Having already lost an ear against Vader in 1994, Foley upped the ante in this match, by taking a dive off the cell, through an announcers table (the Spanish one). Despite attempts from medical personnel and Chainsaw Charlie to be wheeled off to the nearest hospital, Foley got back up like a prostitute at happy hour and continued the match, despite his front teeth coming out through his nose. He then proceeded to take a dive through the cell's ceiling before his opponent ended his misery. That's what built Foley's legacy and that's what made TNA decide to put the world title on him mere months after he signed with the company.
Thankfully for him, he wised up fairly quickly and signed a new deal with WWE in 2011, appearing in some capacity, but only sporadically. Foley still has a legacy that's intact, now.
Another one in TNA would be Sting. Steve Borden, currently age 52, still wrestles and has done so for TNA since 2003 with a small break from 2005-2006. Unlike most past stars in TNA, Sting can still put on a good match if he wants to. Now, he's the general manager of TNA's impact wrestling show, which puts him in a good spot. Less wrestling, more involvement otherwise.
There are plenty of people who got the idea. Just retire and make appearances whenever they want you to. This is the way WWE handles most of their legends and it's only right. Steve Austin, Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, Dusty Rhodes, Ted DiBiase sr, Iron Sheik, Shawn Michaels with Kevin Nash narrowly added to that list. They all learned what their involvement in the business should be limited to, and adhere to it.
Of course, some will never learn, will they? Terry? Terry? Mr Funk?
~D.
I usually delve into the current affairs when it comes to sports entertainment. This is basically why I barely update this blog. I figured it's time to write something on a wrestling - related topic, but outside of my usual business critique. This might be short, as - like always - I write this on the fly, without any clue what I'll end up talking about.
In this entry, I'll be taking a look at everyone's favorites, from 20 years ago.
These days, older wrestling fans still have the choice to watch the idols from their youth wrestle on a weekly basis. But in all seriousness, is this truly what we want to see happening? Is our dependance on nostalgia overpowering our desire to see good wrestling?
On a personal level, I've never cared much as to who is wrestling, as long as it is a good match. Through that very reason, I've managed to discover great wrestlers from all over the world, several of which ended up building their careers on a worldwide level. CM Punk, Bryan Danielson, Low Ki etc. you name 'em.
There are however a lot of people who couldn't care less about what constitutes good wrestling, as long as they look charismatic and flashy while trying. This is how many achieved longevity in the business, despite being well past their primes.
Hulk Hogan is probably the prime example of this phenomenon. He was a poor wrestler to begin with, but his typical in-ring shtick endured the rigors of routinous performances and to this day, it makes him a popular fixture in professional wrestling. Why? Because he's recognisable. Say the words "bandana" and "moustache" in one sentence and people will say "Hulk Hogan". What's sad is that Hogan has mistakenly interpreted this as people still being interested in seeing him perform that same shtick for at least a decade after he was served out. Today, Hogan is still involved in wrestling, working for the one company on this planet who shares his philosophy: TNA.
Person at fault here, besides Hogan? Vince McMahon. For all his impactful and successful decisions that made wrestling a global phenomenon, consistently bringing Hogan back to tv wasn't one of them. Not to mention the dealbreakers Vince offered him in the process. Would any old icon say 'no' to a hefty payday and full creative control for as long as the deal lasts? I don't think so. Hogan didn't either, and used his creative control to make sure he'd still be winning matches as much as possible, not caring how many up-and-coming stars he'd bury along the way. I take solace in the fact that Shawn Michaels oversold every single one of his crummy hits during their match in 2006. It was also the first Hogan match that I managed to sit out completely.
Shawn Michaels is another story. The man that managed to dominate from the late 80's to the late 90's until a back injury forced him to retire. Shawn was still around afterwards, in a non-wrestling capacity and rightfully so. Shawn pisses charisma on a daily basis and it still made use of his talents. In 2002, Shawn Michaels felt his back had healed enough to the point where he could return full-time. Was it a bad decision for Vince to put him in the limelight again?
Not one bit, because Shawn was still able to work entertaining matches and get over with the crowd. He did that until he retired for good from in-ring competition in 2010. The return turned out to be a blessing for Vince, because unlike before, Shawn was willing to put other people over. Before his first retirement, Shawn was infamous for refusing to job. From 2002-2010 he has put numerous people over. Something to ponder over, Terry. Instead of frantically attempting to preserve his own star like Hogan did, Shawn attempted to ensure the future of this business, by helping to build up those who would main event the shows of tomorrow. Now, he makes sporadic appearances, usually to help sell a story to the fans. Case in point being the upcoming match between Triple H and the Undertaker.
Onto the next, Ric Flair. Inarguably one of the best professional wrestlers of all time. He was the guy people would go to if they needed someone over. That's what Ric did best, he put over everyone, even the local jobbers but made himself look good in the process. Who hasn't heard the tales of Ric Flair wrestling an hour against a local boy and turn that boy into a superstar, even if for one night?
For years, the star of Ric Flair has been fading. After wrestling well past his prime, with his physique visibly deteriorating, he had one final WWE match in 2008, against the equally legendary Shawn Michaels. For one night only, he pulled out all the stops. While his matches the 5 years before had consisted of little more than chops, woo's and figure 4's .. his final match was a typical Flair match, including the typical shtick that made Ric a star in the 70's and 80's.
He finally retired, his last match being the perfect send-off. That is, until he ruined it all. Deciding he couldn't live on his (I've heard) 500.000$ a year deal with WWE, he went on to the only place that would still put him on the card consistently: TNA. Despite officially retiring, he proceeded to still wrestle in matches that would end up tainting his legacy. To this very day, he is still employed by TNA, who had hoped that having Flair on their roster would bring in the ratings ... which, of course, it hasn't.
TNA featured a lot of performers who were better off not being there for the sake of their own legacy. Mick Foley was one of those guys. Seriously, Foley wasn't the stereotypical wrestler in any way to begin with. He wasn't buff, nor particularly gifted as a wrestler. Nevertheless, Foley had his legitimate share of great matches during his career. This was particularly because of his crazy gimmicks, ability to talk and his ability to take relentless punishment.
The 1998 Hell in a Cell match needs no introduction. This match showed what a tough cookie Foley really is. Having already lost an ear against Vader in 1994, Foley upped the ante in this match, by taking a dive off the cell, through an announcers table (the Spanish one). Despite attempts from medical personnel and Chainsaw Charlie to be wheeled off to the nearest hospital, Foley got back up like a prostitute at happy hour and continued the match, despite his front teeth coming out through his nose. He then proceeded to take a dive through the cell's ceiling before his opponent ended his misery. That's what built Foley's legacy and that's what made TNA decide to put the world title on him mere months after he signed with the company.
Thankfully for him, he wised up fairly quickly and signed a new deal with WWE in 2011, appearing in some capacity, but only sporadically. Foley still has a legacy that's intact, now.
Another one in TNA would be Sting. Steve Borden, currently age 52, still wrestles and has done so for TNA since 2003 with a small break from 2005-2006. Unlike most past stars in TNA, Sting can still put on a good match if he wants to. Now, he's the general manager of TNA's impact wrestling show, which puts him in a good spot. Less wrestling, more involvement otherwise.
There are plenty of people who got the idea. Just retire and make appearances whenever they want you to. This is the way WWE handles most of their legends and it's only right. Steve Austin, Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, Dusty Rhodes, Ted DiBiase sr, Iron Sheik, Shawn Michaels with Kevin Nash narrowly added to that list. They all learned what their involvement in the business should be limited to, and adhere to it.
Of course, some will never learn, will they? Terry? Terry? Mr Funk?
~D.
Monday, 30 January 2012
Ye Olde Royal Rumble
Bonjour
Yesterday, the first of WWE's big four PPV's took place. January's staple and the official beginning of the road to Wrestlemania.
The Royal Rumble has always been a vehicle to launch the next main eventer, or establish one as such. This year proved no different, but I'll run down the card, the results and provide my opinion on it. If you want to see the event, but haven't ... this contains spoilers.
I've never really understood why WWE makes a point out of having the world title match as a curtain jerker. D-Bry faced off against Mark Henry and the Big Show in a Cage match. If you'd have asked me before the match happened, I'd have told you this was gonna suck.
You have a scrawny, yet talented guy fight two overweight guys in the confinements of a cage. That results in the two big guys overpowering the scrawny guy, tossing the smaller guy around, with virtually no ring action, because of the cage. It's not a match I'd care to watch. Luckily for all of us, creative played it out much differently, having Bryan go over the both of them without having any of the three look weak. Well played, guys, well played.
The second match of the night was already a piss-break. It's safe to say that this was a poorly executed match , and no surprising winner in the "Divas of Doom" and the Bellas. The only reason these Bella twins still have a job is because they can frequent backstage segments ... in which they are not particularly entertaining. Ah, it could be worse, and it will.
Some Ryder and Eve shtick with "Funkman" in a starring role. Completely obsolete, unless it's their way to keep Ryder in the attention of viewers.
John Cena vs Kane is next, in a rather surprising way. I would think that a match featuring the WWE's poster boy would go right before the main event, but I digress. This was a good match, considering the people involved. Nobody would expect them to go old school on each other, but their match told the story. These guys have been getting at each other for over a month now, and it culminates in a double countout. A poor execution of it too, but I digress.
This is the best way it could end, but it also puts WWE into a pickle of sorts. They strive to continue this rivalry, because there is still potential there. But at the same time, they need to start building up the match between Cena and the Rock at Mania.
Just goes to show that planning ahead a year in advance doesn't always help, especially when you have the competitors formally announce it a year ahead. I expect the rivalries to overlap and that Kane will have some outside involvement in their Mania match.
The next match can only be described as "the intermission sideshow". Brodus Clay defeats jobber in quick fashion. I just don't buy into this guy. You have the guy eat Flash Funk and Norman Smiley with a side of Scotty 2 Hotty and there is his gimmick. He's just not impressive like this, and everyone would've been better off if he hadn't made his re-debut at all. Unless he gets to show what he can do, his career with the big E will wither fast.
Thoroughly surprising that the jobber he defeated has better skill, but lacks the charisma Brodus Clay should have. Drew McIntyre is not on a losing streak, this is getting humiliating. Give the guy a break, come on. He may not be the most impressive worker or the most charismatic superstar SmackDown has, but when you've got Mark Henry in your main event, that's a moot point.
Though, Henry has been somewhat entertaining as a heel.
CM Punk tangles with Dolph Ziggler next. Johnny Ace is ref. I prefer using his ring name, because it'll save me time in spell checking ^_^
Johnny Ace pretty much immediately bans Vickie G from ringside. Face turn what?
This match is as how you would expect it to be. These guys, along with D-Bry and young Rhodes as of late, are probably the most talented guys on the roster, and it shows. Ziggler can sell anything like its a hit and run and just like Punk he brings a much needed variety in matches. Surprisingly, Ace called it down the middle and it left Punk the victor. Definitely want to see these guys have more matches in time.
Then the staple of the event. The Royal Rumble match. Unlike last year, this year's has 30 entrants again, probably due to time constraints. There would be a few guys you could peg as potential winners. Cody Rhodes for example, who has been going strong, but his current rivalry hasn't resolved yet.
The second I'd say was Jericho. Everybody knows that he's going for a program with Punk, with a possible match at Wrestlemania. Winning the Rumble would pretty much solidify that.
It eventually comes down to Jericho and Sheamus. Sheamus eventually manages to eliminate Jericho. Good.
I find Sheamus highly entertaining as a face. As a heel, you could see he had potential, but his heel persona didn't go over with me at all. As a face, it's a different story. I'm glad he won, because I know he can put up a more than decent match with anyone he's facing. If he chooses to face D-Bry (provided he still has the belt come Mania time), this could be the show stealer, after the Money in the Bank match.
If anything Sheamus' victory comes off a lot less icky than last year, when Alberto del Rio won. Sure, Del Rio is talented, but it just seemed a cheap way to have that character go over. He's still a second rate JBL when it comes to that gimmick. Now, ADR's run wasn't that memorable, so I hope Sheamus will change things around. Everybody knows the kids love him these days.
Appropriate mentions: Every match got a proper amount of time dealt to them. Even the divas match ran for 6 minutes. That's not much, especially for a divas match, but with their current standards, 6 minutes is the limit before one tries to swallow his own eyeballs.
A good call for creative was the fact that neither Cena nor Kane, although eligible, participated in the Royal Rumble match.
A bad call was, let's see. The inclusion of Michael Cole, The Great Khali, Jim Duggan and to an extent Road Dogg in the Royal Rumble match. Road Dogg can still go, but other than nostalgia, his participation provided virtually nothing. I don't think I need to explain the other two.
Vince insist on shoving Cole down our throats, though his on-screen persona is about as entertaining as a nightlight in the shape of a cock. Well, I had heard also, that The Great Khali was done with WWE, which made me hopeful. Too bad.
Next year, I hope Wade Barrett is right and The Godfather participates as Papa Shango. Kids will shit their pants for the voodoo man.
Also, Kharma returned in the match and took a few people out. Fun times.
I just feel that mid card talent got robbed of a few spots. Just sayin'.
~D.
Yesterday, the first of WWE's big four PPV's took place. January's staple and the official beginning of the road to Wrestlemania.
The Royal Rumble has always been a vehicle to launch the next main eventer, or establish one as such. This year proved no different, but I'll run down the card, the results and provide my opinion on it. If you want to see the event, but haven't ... this contains spoilers.
I've never really understood why WWE makes a point out of having the world title match as a curtain jerker. D-Bry faced off against Mark Henry and the Big Show in a Cage match. If you'd have asked me before the match happened, I'd have told you this was gonna suck.
You have a scrawny, yet talented guy fight two overweight guys in the confinements of a cage. That results in the two big guys overpowering the scrawny guy, tossing the smaller guy around, with virtually no ring action, because of the cage. It's not a match I'd care to watch. Luckily for all of us, creative played it out much differently, having Bryan go over the both of them without having any of the three look weak. Well played, guys, well played.
The second match of the night was already a piss-break. It's safe to say that this was a poorly executed match , and no surprising winner in the "Divas of Doom" and the Bellas. The only reason these Bella twins still have a job is because they can frequent backstage segments ... in which they are not particularly entertaining. Ah, it could be worse, and it will.
Some Ryder and Eve shtick with "Funkman" in a starring role. Completely obsolete, unless it's their way to keep Ryder in the attention of viewers.
John Cena vs Kane is next, in a rather surprising way. I would think that a match featuring the WWE's poster boy would go right before the main event, but I digress. This was a good match, considering the people involved. Nobody would expect them to go old school on each other, but their match told the story. These guys have been getting at each other for over a month now, and it culminates in a double countout. A poor execution of it too, but I digress.
This is the best way it could end, but it also puts WWE into a pickle of sorts. They strive to continue this rivalry, because there is still potential there. But at the same time, they need to start building up the match between Cena and the Rock at Mania.
Just goes to show that planning ahead a year in advance doesn't always help, especially when you have the competitors formally announce it a year ahead. I expect the rivalries to overlap and that Kane will have some outside involvement in their Mania match.
The next match can only be described as "the intermission sideshow". Brodus Clay defeats jobber in quick fashion. I just don't buy into this guy. You have the guy eat Flash Funk and Norman Smiley with a side of Scotty 2 Hotty and there is his gimmick. He's just not impressive like this, and everyone would've been better off if he hadn't made his re-debut at all. Unless he gets to show what he can do, his career with the big E will wither fast.
Thoroughly surprising that the jobber he defeated has better skill, but lacks the charisma Brodus Clay should have. Drew McIntyre is not on a losing streak, this is getting humiliating. Give the guy a break, come on. He may not be the most impressive worker or the most charismatic superstar SmackDown has, but when you've got Mark Henry in your main event, that's a moot point.
Though, Henry has been somewhat entertaining as a heel.
CM Punk tangles with Dolph Ziggler next. Johnny Ace is ref. I prefer using his ring name, because it'll save me time in spell checking ^_^
Johnny Ace pretty much immediately bans Vickie G from ringside. Face turn what?
This match is as how you would expect it to be. These guys, along with D-Bry and young Rhodes as of late, are probably the most talented guys on the roster, and it shows. Ziggler can sell anything like its a hit and run and just like Punk he brings a much needed variety in matches. Surprisingly, Ace called it down the middle and it left Punk the victor. Definitely want to see these guys have more matches in time.
Then the staple of the event. The Royal Rumble match. Unlike last year, this year's has 30 entrants again, probably due to time constraints. There would be a few guys you could peg as potential winners. Cody Rhodes for example, who has been going strong, but his current rivalry hasn't resolved yet.
The second I'd say was Jericho. Everybody knows that he's going for a program with Punk, with a possible match at Wrestlemania. Winning the Rumble would pretty much solidify that.
It eventually comes down to Jericho and Sheamus. Sheamus eventually manages to eliminate Jericho. Good.
I find Sheamus highly entertaining as a face. As a heel, you could see he had potential, but his heel persona didn't go over with me at all. As a face, it's a different story. I'm glad he won, because I know he can put up a more than decent match with anyone he's facing. If he chooses to face D-Bry (provided he still has the belt come Mania time), this could be the show stealer, after the Money in the Bank match.
If anything Sheamus' victory comes off a lot less icky than last year, when Alberto del Rio won. Sure, Del Rio is talented, but it just seemed a cheap way to have that character go over. He's still a second rate JBL when it comes to that gimmick. Now, ADR's run wasn't that memorable, so I hope Sheamus will change things around. Everybody knows the kids love him these days.
Appropriate mentions: Every match got a proper amount of time dealt to them. Even the divas match ran for 6 minutes. That's not much, especially for a divas match, but with their current standards, 6 minutes is the limit before one tries to swallow his own eyeballs.
A good call for creative was the fact that neither Cena nor Kane, although eligible, participated in the Royal Rumble match.
A bad call was, let's see. The inclusion of Michael Cole, The Great Khali, Jim Duggan and to an extent Road Dogg in the Royal Rumble match. Road Dogg can still go, but other than nostalgia, his participation provided virtually nothing. I don't think I need to explain the other two.
Vince insist on shoving Cole down our throats, though his on-screen persona is about as entertaining as a nightlight in the shape of a cock. Well, I had heard also, that The Great Khali was done with WWE, which made me hopeful. Too bad.
Next year, I hope Wade Barrett is right and The Godfather participates as Papa Shango. Kids will shit their pants for the voodoo man.
Also, Kharma returned in the match and took a few people out. Fun times.
I just feel that mid card talent got robbed of a few spots. Just sayin'.
~D.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)